Relational Anxiety

Not too long ago my friend finished her thesis regarding relationship perception or something to do with people with antisocial traits and the different ways they view relationships. During her literature review, she explained to me the concept of relational anxiety and how some of it is crucial for the relationship while none of it, or too much of it, causes distress and breaks the relationship.

New Section - "Playing with creativity"

Over the years, I have created many different pieces of writing that try to tell a story. I'm really bad at writing long pieces, so I find most effective to write small pieces and make them as simple and as profound as possible. These different notes that I have created, I can't remember what inspired them. Perhaps the clues are in the pieces themselves; loss, sadness, happiness, love, fear--basic themes, whose events are lost but whose meaning remain. I will call these sections "Playing with creativity", and here is my first post titled "**NOTE 2**

**Note 2**

He found a letter as he was cleaning his bedroom. There had been a mess in his room for quite awhile, and cleaning it at this point in time seemed like a miracle. The white enveloped was black from all the dust that had collected over the years. He opened it wondering what it was about. This is exactly what it read:

Jaded Love

I read this article not so long ago on extroverted versus introverted people. The basic jist of it was that introverted people tend to get over-stimulated easily and withdraw from stimulating situations, while it is hard for extroverted people to get stimulated so they constantly seek stimulation. I tend to be more on the introverted side.

Abandonment Issues

It is often argued that the fear of abandonment is rooted in the past. Previously over-caring parents might have promoted a dependent mindset in their child. As a result, the child doesn’t do anything without the help/approval of his/her parents.

Initially titled - Missed connections

"One day when you awake from a long sleep you will come to realize that you are thinking of me. Its not gonna be a big thought, but just enough for you to wonder how I am doing. You will get on the computer and look for me among the long list of emails. Out of all the people that you know, I will be the one that you look for. I will never know what made you search for me, or what pattern of events made me cross your mind. Nor would I know that you attempted to reach me, but backed out at the last minute and deleted that message. You will close your computer, and look outside your window. You will be distracted by the clouds that were left over from a night of soft showers, and remember the cozy night prior. The transient thought no longer. A man sleeps soundly in your bed."

I can't remember when exactly I wrote this. I might have been heartbroken or something might have triggered the memory of this one guy, and maybe perhaps this talks about one guy that I was completely and utterly enchanted with, and who now is my friend. Who knows.

Much love,

J

Random thought: Jealousy

I think jealousy is a feeling of getting left behind. Somewhere along the way someone arrived at it first, whatever you wanted---a job, an education, a boyfriend. And you are stuck there in the middle of the road with an empty tank, while you look at the tire tracks to remind you that you were left behind.

Introduction

There comes a point where you realize that many things you need to say are not said. Its not healthy, really. Its like orgasming or a sneeze where so much pressure builds and culminate on a final release. You can say that's how I felt, but I would be lying, because most of these postings were already purged, but never put on display.

With that said, it would be an honor for you to follow me on this adventure. Many of these thoughts come to me at random moments, in random times. Situations that happen to me, and my interpretation of them will be yours to see. It might not be interesting being me, but I can promise you that you would take something from any of these random thoughts.

I don't know where this blog would take me or if it will blow up, but I don't care. The thoughts have been written, and all I want is an audience to read them, interpret them in their own way, and maybe inspire and create thoughts that they can later purge and compare to a sexual function.

Much love,

J